HARRY POTTER FILKERAMA!
by AbRaCaDaBrA
Summary: Do you like filk? Do you like Harry Potter? Then HARRY POTTER FILKERAMA! is for you! "Who Let The Screwts Out?", "Wizarding Pranksters", "Pretty Fly (For The Bad Guy)", and MUCH MORE!! R&R, and sing along!
1. Fly Fly Fly

"FLY FLY FLY"  
Harry's POV filk to "Bye Bye Bye" by NSync  
A/N: NSync...*cough* NSUCK...yeah yeah yeah, I know, I know, but pop music is easiest to parody...  
  
Hey hey, fly fly fly (fly fly!)   
Fly Fly! (Fly fly!)   
  
Oh,oh,   
I, Grabbed the school broom and ran   
I, didn't really understand   
But he had that ball in his hand   
"Hey, bring that back!"   
  
I, jumped up with out a thought   
But should or shouldn't I ought?   
Hooch saw me, and I dived right back to the ground   
  
I knew that it was wrong to do, all too true.   
Quidditch is my favorite sport to try,   
Love to fly, fly, fly, (fly fly!)   
Didn't mean to dive out of the sky   
But now I'm Seeker and flying high   
I might sound crazy but it ain't no lie,   
Love to fly, fly, fly (fly fly!)   
Sure you know I'm not giving up   
Lost my arm bones but I'm not fed up   
I sound crazy but really I   
Love to fly, fly, fly   
  
Ow, just hit with a Bludger,   
Hey, it's Cho and I like her   
But the Snitch is flapping in the sky   
Right by   
I didn't want to lose this game   
And Gryffindor didn't want shame   
So, now it's time to knock her off the broom.   
  
She's wearing Quidditch robes of blue, what to do.   
Well, she's getting kicked out of the sky   
Love to fly, fly, fly (fly fly!)   
Didn't mean to dive out of the sky   
But now I'm Seeker and flying high   
I might sound crazy but it ain't no lie,   
Love to fly, fly, fly.   
You know I'm not giving up   
Lost my arm bones but I'm not fed up   
I sound crazy but really I   
Love to fly, fly, fly   
  
I may not always win but I'll try   
Gryffindor's Seeker can't go on by   
fly fly   
Never stopping when the going's rough   
Everyone know's I'm made of sturdy stuff   
I didn't mean to be a star, but I flew real far   
And can dive break-neckingly fast   
The Nimbus 2000 did die   
But you know I   
Fly fly!   
Didn't mean to dive out of the sky   
But now I'm Seeker and flying high   
I might sound crazy but it ain't no lie,   
Love to fly, fly, fly.   
You know I'm not giving up   
Lost my arm bones but I'm not fed up   
I sound crazy but really I   
Love to fly, fly, fly (fly fly!) 


	2. Slytherin Paradise

"SLYTHERIN PARADISE"  
Snape, Malfoy, and Flint's POV Filk to "Gangsta's Paradise" by Coolio  
  
As I walk through the hallway with the greatest of ease  
I take a look at students and see I'm a disease  
But that's just perfect for Slytherins like me  
You know we shun stupid things like Muggle-icity  
At twelve thirty in the morning I'm feeling bored  
Crabbe is still real smelly and Goyle snores  
And I've been sneering and brooding so long that  
Even Adrian thinks that my mind is gone  
I'm head of Potions, I'm into discipline  
Got a wand in my hand and Dark Mark on my skin  
So if I finish all my grading and getting real mad  
Then I'm gonna show Gryffindor the new meaning of "bad"!  
  
We've been spending most our lives  
Livin' in Slytherin Paradise  
I've flunked Neville once or twice  
Livin' in Slytherin Paradise  
We're all colder than ice  
Livin' in Slytherin Paradise  
To cross us comes with a price  
Livin' in Slytherin Paradise  
  
The Potter kid beat me in Quidditch last match  
I just sneer at him, and another reply I will hatch  
Hey I really don't worry, I've got it under control  
Personality test, they'd say black is my soul  
  
But I have never punched a Gryffindor even if I could   
There's no point in bothering, none of them are good  
Never wear jeans but I got a cool cloak  
You just know I will never be a kind-to-Muggle folk  
  
The Slytherin common room is a neat place to be  
And of course we don't use Muggle electricity  
But we think Mudbloods should be kicked out of school  
And I know that we are all really cool.  
  
There's no phone, the lights are torches  
But we think it's great to be  
A Slytherin, cause you know   
We're better than the other three  
  
We've been spending most our lives  
Livin' in Slytherin paradise  
Crabbe and Goyle are backup guys  
Livin' in Slytherin paradise  
You know that I won't give bad advice  
Livin' in Slytherin paradise  
And you know I just don't play nice  
Livin in Slytherin paradise  
  
Trainin' up the beaters,  
Enchanting all the bludgers,  
Soupin' up the Snitches  
Hangin' with my brothers  
  
Think you're really good?  
Think you'll beat me?  
Well, I know that we've got the skill  
As bad as we can be  
  
I'm Quidditch Captain  
The Gryffindors  
Think they're all so great  
But they're a bunch of bore  
  
So don't try to win  
Don't try to fight  
Cause whatever you do  
We'll always be right!  
  
We've been spending most our lives  
Livin' in Slytherin Paradise  
When we win it's always nice  
Livin' in Slytherin Paradise  
And if we lose, we'll play twice  
Livin' in Slytherin Paradise  
My favorite group's Vanilla Ice  
Livin' in Slytherin Paradise 


	3. Broom Star

"BROOM STAR"  
Harry's POV filk of "All Star" by Smashmouth  
  
  
Petunia never told me that all the wizards know me   
But she ain't the sharpest screwt in the crate.   
She was looking pretty dumb with her monster of a son   
Eating everything except for his plate.   
  
The letters started coming and they didn't stop coming   
Squished in the car as Vernon kept running   
Stuck on a rock in the ocean, was awakened by a violent motion   
Then came Hagrid with bit of a struggle, he told me I wasn't a Muggle   
Went to Diagon Alley, got cool stuff, then life stopped being so rough   
  
Hey now, I'm a broom star,   
Go to Hogwarts, Quidditch played.   
Hey now, I'm a wizard,   
Got my wand, best friends made   
Lightning bolt on my head   
"Lumos" I have often said   
  
Ron's a bit poor, but he's really funny   
Hermione's very helpful but reads a ton-ny.   
Neville keeps forgetting his brain   
Fred and George are simply insane   
Ginny's real nice, but giggles too much   
Then there's Dean and Lavender and such   
Cho is really sweet, wish I could date her   
I hope Malfoy will fall off a glacier   
  
Hey now, I'm a broom star,   
Go to Hogwarts, Quidditch played.   
Hey now, I'm a wizard,   
Got my wand, best friends made   
Lightning bolt on my head   
Hedwig is my good pet   
  
Go, go, go, go, for the snitch!   
  
Go, go, go, go, for the snitch!   
  
Go, go, go, go, for the snitch!   
  
Hey now, I'm a broom star,   
Go to Hogwarts, Quidditch played.   
Hey now, I'm a wizard,   
Got my wand, best friends made   
Lightning bolt on my head   
Too bad my parents...   
  
Somebody once asked for, the three-quarter platform   
But I didn't know how to get in there.   
Mrs. Weasley showed the way, and the rest is histo-ray   
I just think about how I got here.   
  
The letters started coming and they didn't stop coming   
Squished in the car as Vernon kept running   
Stuck on a rock in the ocean, was awakened by a violent motion   
Then came Hagrid with bit of a struggle, he told me I wasn't a Muggle   
Went to Diagon Alley, got cool stuff, then life stopped being so rough   
  
Hey now, I'm a broom star,   
Go to Hogwarts, Quidditch played.   
Hey now, I'm a wizard,   
Got my wand, best friends made   
Lightning bolt on my head   
'Cause of house-elves I am fed   
  
Lightning bolt on my head   
Gryffindor's color is red. 


	4. HerMyOhNee Story Of A Girl

"HER-MY-OH-NEE (STORY OF A GIRL)"  
Filk to "Absolutely (Story of a Girl)" by Nine Days  
  
This is the story of a girl   
Who read books to explain her world   
And while she moves around in photographs   
Her name's Her-my-own-nee   
Changed her smile   
  
She doesn't know why she is here   
Found she was a witch in her 'leventh year   
And Harry and Ron are so sincere   
Making the promise of friends for real   
  
As long as she's in the library   
Studying to ace every test   
She's learning about wizardry   
She always wants to be the best   
  
Well, she's learning new things every day after day   
And she'll ever really act in quite the same way   
But she never seems to run out of things to say   
  
This is the story of a girl   
Who reads books to explain her world   
And while she moves around in photographs   
Her name's Her-my-oh-nee   
Changed her smile   
  
How many people would stay   
In Hogwarts to know the wizarding way   
When will it be her day   
When people understand everything she'd say   
  
As long as she keeps on reading   
The library day after day   
How did she wind up this way   
Get back at Malfoy for everything he'd say   
  
Well, she's learning new things every day after day   
And she'll ever really act in quite the same way   
But she never seems to run out of things to say   
  
This is the story of a girl   
Who reads books to explain her world   
And while she moves around in photographs   
Her name's Her-my-oh-nee   
Changed her smile 


	5. Duelin

"DUELIN'"  
Draco Malfoy's POV Filk to "Rollin'" by Limp Bizkit  
  
All right, Potter. Let's start duelin', Scarhead...you know what time it is.  
  
(put your wand up...  
put your, put your wand up...  
"Ladies and Gentlemen!"  
put your, put your wand up...  
"Gryffindor versus Slytherin!"  
put your, put your wand up...  
"Potter versus Malfoy!"  
put your wand up  
put your wand up!)  
  
Wands up, now wands out  
Heads up, now heads down  
Back up, back up  
Tell me, what you gonna do now?  
Breathe in, now breathe out  
Curse up, now jinx down  
Back up, back up  
Tell me, what you gonna do now?  
Keep duelin' duelin' duelin' duelin' (what?)  
Keep duelin' duelin' duelin' duelin' (c'mon)  
Keep duelin' duelin' duelin' duelin' (yeah)  
Keep duelin' duelin' duelin' duelin'  
  
Now I know you be lovin' this pride right here  
D-R-A-Co Malfoy is right here  
People in my house, put your hands in the air  
And if you don't care, then I don't care (yeah)  
Ex-Pel-I-armus, one two three!  
Tantellegra? Do you know you're battling ME?   
So what, your trying to hex up?  
Getting my legs up?  
I'm just gettin' set up  
Ready for you to mess up!  
  
(put your, put your wand up...  
put your, put your wand up...  
put your wand up,  
put your wand up!)  
  
Wands up, now wands out  
Heads up, now heads down  
Back up, back up  
Tell me, what you gonna do now?  
Breathe in, now breathe out  
Curse up, now jinx down  
Back up, back up  
Tell me, what you gonna do now?  
Keep duelin' duelin' duelin' duelin' (what?)  
Keep duelin' duelin' duelin' duelin' (c'mon)  
Keep duelin' duelin' duelin' duelin' (yeah)  
Keep duelin' duelin' duelin' duelin'  
  
You wanna mess with the Malfoy?   
(Yeah)  
You can't mess with the Malfoy!   
(Why?)  
Because I get it on   
(When?)  
Every day and every night   
(Oh.)  
And this domination thing right here?   
(Uh huh.)  
I'm doing it all the time   
(Huh.)  
So you better get some better friends  
And, uh, get some better lines.  
(Hey!)  
I got this battle crashed, so don't try to flash  
Twenty-four seven, never befriending wizard trash   
I'm an canon char gettin' all the lovin'  
That rocks you and your heritage of nothin'   
  
(put your, put your wand up...  
put your, put your wand up...  
put your wand up,  
put your wand up!)  
  
Wands up, now wands out  
Heads up, now heads down  
Back up, back up  
Tell me, what you gonna do now?  
Breathe in, now breathe out  
Curse up, now jinx down  
Back up, back up  
Tell me, what you gonna do now?  
Keep duelin' duelin' duelin' duelin' (what?)  
Keep duelin' duelin' duelin' duelin' (c'mon)  
Keep duelin' duelin' duelin' duelin' (yeah)  
Keep duelin' duelin' duelin' duelin'  
  
Hey Ladies! Where you at?  
Hey Fellas! Where you at?  
And the people that are the purebloods! Where you at?  
All the lovers, where you at?  
All the tragics, where you at?  
And all the people that call themselves magic, where you at?  
Crabbe, Goyle, where you at?  
And Pansy, where you at?  
And the people wishin' they could have me, where you at?  
Hey ficcers, where you at?  
Weird SHIPpers, where you at?  
And everybody all around the world...  
  
Wands up, now wands out  
Heads up, now heads down  
Back up, back up  
Tell me, what you gonna do now?  
Breathe in, now breathe out  
Curse up, now jinx down  
Back up, back up  
Tell me, what you gonna do now?  
Keep duelin' duelin' duelin' duelin' (yeah)  
Keep duelin' duelin' duelin' duelin' (what?)  
Keep duelin' duelin' duelin' duelin' (c'mon)  
Keep duelin' duelin' duelin' duelin'  
Wands up, now wands out  
Heads up, now heads down  
Back up, back up  
Tell me, what you gonna do now?  
Breathe in, now breathe out  
Curse up, now jinx down  
Back up, back up  
Tell me, what you gonna do now?  
Keep duelin' duelin' duelin' duelin' (what?)  
Keep duelin' duelin' duelin' duelin' (c'mon)  
Keep duelin' duelin' duelin' duelin' (yeah)  
Keep duelin' duelin' duelin' duelin' 


	6. Wizarding Pranksters

"WIZARDING PRANKSTERS"  
Filk to "Original Pranksters" by Offspring  
  
(They can do it!)  
It's a brand new year  
Hogwarts  
Cannot go without laughter  
Fred, George  
Weasley will make it better  
Stunts, stunts  
Any kind will do  
You can blame just everything on those two (Hey!)  
Beaters  
Playing the game of Quidditch  
Bam, Slam  
Bludgers beat to show the witches  
No way!  
This is so absurd --  
I've eaten a cream and turned into a bird!  
  
Gonna take the school (At it again!)  
Cuz they're not fools (With Lee their friend!)  
Fred and George are cool (Will it ever end?)  
They're gonna make Filch real mad  
With a fake wand...  
Wizarding Pranksters!  
A Dung Bomb...  
Wizarding, yeah!  
Annoying Ron...  
Wizarding Pranksters!  
They're never stop, no   
Stop? No!  
They're good at being bad!  
  
Uh oh, it smells like -   
Dung Bomb!  
Off in the hall again  
Fun, fun  
If you're the Weasleys' friend  
Zonko's  
Best customers of all  
Jokes, spells, and tricks from wall to wall (Hey!)  
Tests, tests,  
They'll take them and pass  
Laugh, laugh  
They're the clowns of the class  
Filch, Snape  
Teachers get a trick or two  
And you'll see, here comes a day  
When there's a joke on you!  
  
Gonna take the school (At it again!)  
Cuz they're not fools (With Lee their friend!)  
Fred and George are cool (Will it ever end?)  
They're gonna make Filch real mad  
With a fake wand...  
Wizarding Pranksters!  
A Dung Bomb...  
Wizarding, yeah!  
Annoying Ron...  
Wizarding Pranksters!  
They're never stop, no   
Stop? No!  
They're good at being bad! 


	7. My Broomstick

"MY BROOMSTICK"  
Filk to "My Console" by Eiffel 65  
  
We're gonna play the game of Quidditch all day,  
With Quaffles and Keepers to Wronski Feints  
And from Seekers and Snitch to Bludgers and Beaters  
Just play for the fun  
'Cause we got it going on  
  
Keepers and Chasers, broomsticks flying high   
Bludgers and Beaters, Quaffle's moving, Seeker and Snitch,   
Ten point goals, referee, another world...up here  
We're racing  
Our world  
Never gonna yield  
We love the Quidditch field   
  
Q-U-I-D-D-I-T-C-H!  
Q-U-I-D-D-I-T-C-H!  
Q-U-I-D-D-I-T-C-H!  
Q-U-I-D-D-I-T-C-H!  
  
Keepers and Chasers, broomsticks flying high   
Bludgers and Beaters, Quaffle's moving, Seeker and Snitch,   
Ten point goals, referee, another world...up here  
We're racing  
Our world  
Never gonna yield  
We love the Quidditch field   
  
Q-U-I-D-D-I-T-C-H!  
Q-U-I-D-D-I-T-C-H!  
Q-U-I-D-D-I-T-C-H!  
Q-U-I-D-D-I-T-C-H!  
  
We're gonna play the game of Quidditch all day,  
With Quaffles and Keepers to Wronski Feints  
And from Seekers and Snitch to Bludgers and Beaters  
Just play for the fun  
'Cause we got it going on  
We're racing  
Our world  
Never gonna yield  
We love the Quidditch field 


	8. Who Let The Screwts Out?

"WHO LET THE SCREWTS OUT"  
Filk to "Who Let The Dogs Out" by the Baha Men  
  
"Who Let the Screwts Out?" *ouch!* *zap* *kkcct*   
"Who Let the Screwts Out?" *aaah!! *brrzz* *zzt*   
"Who Let the Screwts Out?" *Mommy!* *eeargh!*   
"Who Let the Screwts Out?" *crunch* *click* *ahhh!*   
  
Well his class was nice when it wasn't hurting *ooowww!*   
And nobody really wanted to be late *aaaauuugggh!*   
Until the one day in September *clickity click*   
He brought out a giant crate!   
And the class is yelling:   
  
"Who Let the Screwts Out?" *crackle* *zzztt* *yuck!*   
"Who Let the Screwts Out?" *eeee!* *zap* *owie!*   
"Who Let the Screwts Out?" *snap* *kckck!* noo!*   
"Who Let the Screwts Out?" *bzzz* *smack* *Mommy!*   
  
Skeeter she finds all the screwt-loving kinds   
"Get back Rita, you cheat-a, get back!" says Harry for Hagrid.   
*bang thump crack break*   
"Er, maybe they DON'T hibernate..."   
  
Well, Harry said he should not get angry *eeeaargh!*   
But then Hagrid claimed they were okay *snap* *zzztt*   
They started killing off each other *click* *zwing*   
Take them for a walk, and you'll fall away!   
And the class is shouting:   
  
"Who Let The Screwts Out?" *zzzrrt* *kckckl*   
"Who Let The Screwts Out?" *ewieee!!* *ouch!!*   
"Who Let The Screwts Out?" *aaahh!* *yuck!* *eee!*   
"Who Let the Screwts Out?" *crunch* *Mommy!* *noo!*   
  
"Eurgh!"  
My screwts are nothing more than a new creature   
"Only just hatched! Thought we'd make a make a bit of a project of it!"   
Although I have messed up my records as a teacher   
"And why would we want to raise them?"   
  
"Who Let the Screwts Out?" *bzz* *click* *zwing*   
"Who Let the Screwts Out?" *snap* *zzzztt* *Mommy!*   
"Who Let the Screwts Out?" *aahh!* *click* *crunch*   
"Who Let the Screwts Out?" *kckckk* *smack* *eee!*   
  
Skeeter she finds all the screwt-loving kinds   
"Get back Rita, you cheat-a, get back!" says Harry to Hagrid.   
*bang thump crack break*   
"Er, maybe they DON'T hibernate..."   
  
I've been in class, and I guess the only way to pass   
I've got to get the leash around this guy but he has no head   
Ahh! Getting dragged round the grounds, just how are these guys fed   
Well, Hagrid's okay but these screwts are not   
If these are illegal will he get caught   
I suppose if I move the leash away from the tail   
This class I won't have to ever fail...   
Now, he's pulling kind of tight towards that other guy   
So I guess I'll just " aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!! *bump*   
  
"Who Let the Screwts Out?" *smash* *eaurgh!* *zzztt*   
"Who Let the Screwts Out?" *snap* *click* *aaahhh!*   
"Who Let the Screwts Out?" *zwing* *crash* *kckck*   
"Who Let the Screwts Out?" *Mommy!* *noooo!*   
"Who Let the Screwts Out?" *bzzz* *smack* *eeee!*   
"Who Let the Screwts Out?" *bang* *thump* *crash*   
"Who Let the Screwts Out?" *whoa!* *zap* *ouch*   
"Who Let the Screwts Out?" *aaaugghh!* *Mommy!* 


	9. Cant Reach This

"CAN'T REACH THIS"  
Flitwick's POV Filk to "Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer  
  
I-I-I-I I am, so short,   
Can't reach anything in Hogwarts.   
The faculty says it,   
they all agree...I'm a midget.   
I'm short,   
and that's no lie,   
I'm so short it makes me cry.   
People tell me, my dad's a dwarf,   
and that's the reason why, uh, I'm so short.   
  
Help me...can't reach this.   
Get that book please...can't reach this.   
Someone help me...can't reach this.   
Please get my stool...can't reach this.   
  
Lee Jordan, comes in,   
And accidently kicks me in the chin.   
It's hard to live like this,   
I was 34 when I got my first kiss.   
I need, a stool to reach,   
the book on the shelf that I need to teach.   
That Potter...helps me,   
Sometimes he lets me stand on his knee.   
That's cool as a green, hairy wart,   
But it helps me 'cause, uh, I'm so short.   
  
I've asked more than once...can't reach this.   
I'll ask a teacher then...can't reach this.   
Don't make me do it myself...can't reach this.   
You're only making it worse...can't reach this.  
  
Bein', this short,   
Makes all the students laugh and snort.   
They all, snicker,   
That Parvati Patil, I'd like to kick 'er.   
Professor Snape, thinks I,   
Am so short I ought to die.   
Can't stand, Malfoy,   
"I stepped on you by accident" is not a good ploy.   
And Dumbledore, knows that,   
I am the only teacher that's phat.  
  
I'm trying to...can't reach this.  
I can only get so far...can't reach this.  
Why are you just standing there?...can't reach this.  
Hand that over...can't reach this.  
  
Bring it down!   
  
Stop! Charms time!   
Tons of kids, pile in,   
And I'm only tall enough to see their shins.   
Or those Weasleys,   
With all their red hair,   
come in with their jokes and give a good scare.   
Or that Granger, with her books,   
about vampires and Lockhart's looks.   
It's weird the way she reads,   
I really wonder what she sees.   
  
Help me up please...can't reach this.   
Get that now...can't reach this.  
Look, I really can't...can't reach this.   
I'm asking nicely...can't reach this.  
  
Stop! Charms time!  
  
Can't reach this.  
Can't reach this.  
I can't reach this now I can't...Can't reach this. 


	10. Pretty Fly For The Bad Guy

"PRETTY FLY (FOR THE BAD GUY)"  
Filk to "Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)" by Offspring  
  
(Draco is a hottie) Uh Huh, Uh Huh!  
(Draco is a hottie) Uh Huh, Uh Huh!  
(Draco is a hottie) Uh Huh, Uh Huh!  
  
And all the witches say I'm pretty fly for the bad guy  
  
(Win-gar-di-i-um Lev-i-o-sah!)  
You know it's kinda hard just to catch the Snitch today?  
He's got skill but Harry just snatches it away.  
Walks around with a stupid scar on his head,  
Thanks a lot Potter, now his father's boss has fled!  
  
So don't be cruel, he's not a fool,  
Draco is the hottest guy in school.  
Yo Slytherin, it's the house he's in.  
Playing Quidditch, playing Quidditch!  
With that big bad broom  
Through the sky he'll zoom  
With him the Quidditch team will try to win  
  
Take out your wand and robes and  
Hey Hey! Do that magic thing!  
  
(Draco is a hottie) Uh Huh, Uh Huh!  
(Draco is a hottie) Uh Huh, Uh Huh!  
(Draco is a hottie) Uh Huh, Uh Huh!  
  
And all the witches say I'm pretty fly (for the bad guy!) BR  
  
Well, some of you argue that he's really mean,  
Have you heard the situations he's been in?  
Harry's got this idea of stardom with his friends,  
That Weasel and Mudblood are gonna find sticky ends!  
  
So don't be cruel, he's not a fool,  
Draco is the hottest guy in school.  
Yo Slytherin, it's the house he's in.  
Playing Quidditch, playing Quidditch!  
With that big bad broom  
Through the sky he'll zoom  
With him the Quidditch team will try to win  
  
Take out your wand and robes and  
Hey Hey! Do that magic thing!  
  
Now he's going to Potions, he's going to class,  
That stupid Longbottom is never gonna pass.  
Snape is the teacher, never picks on him  
Even though Crabbe and Goyle are um, pretty dim!  
  
(Draco is a hottie) Uh Huh, Uh Huh!  
(Draco is a hottie) Uh Huh, Uh Huh!  
(Draco is a hottie) Uh Huh, Uh Huh!  
  
Win-gar-di-i-um Lev-i-o-sah!  
  
So don't be cruel, he's not a fool,  
Draco is the hottest guy in school.  
Yo Slytherin, it's the house he's in.  
Playing Quidditch, playing Quidditch!  
With that big bad broom  
Through the sky he'll zoom  
With him the Quidditch team will try to win  
  
Take out your wand and robes and  
Get out your books and broom and  
Bring out your ink and quills and  
Hey Hey! Do that magic thing! 


	11. Voldy Went Down To Hogwarts

"VOLDY WENT DOWN TO HOGWARTS"  
  
Filk to "Devil Went Down to Georgia" by Charlie Daniels  
  
_________  
  
Voldy went down to Hogwarts  
  
He was looking for a kid to get  
  
He was in a mess 'cause he was under stress  
  
And he was willing to make a bet  
  
When he came across this young man  
  
Sitting on a broom way up in the sky  
  
Voldy took a stroll up to a Quidditch goal  
  
And said, "Boy, do give me a try.  
  
Well, I guess you didn't know it  
  
But I'm a Quidditch player too.  
  
And if you'd care to take a dare  
  
I'll make a bet with you.  
  
Now, you play pretty good Seeker, boy,  
  
But give the Dark Lord his due  
  
I bet a broom of gold against your soul  
  
'Cause I think I'm better than you."  
  
The boy said, "My name's Harry,  
  
And it'll make Albus mad,  
  
But I'll take your bet - you're gonna regret  
  
'Cause I'm the best he's ever had."  
  
Harry, polish up your broom and go to get the Snitch  
  
'Cause hell's broke loose in Hogwarts  
  
And the Dark Lord's on the pitch  
  
If you win you'll get this shiny broomstick made of gold  
  
But if you lose, then Voldy gets your soul!  
  
Voldy made his broom appear  
  
And said, "Let's play Quidditch!"  
  
Fire flew from his fingertips  
  
As he released the Snitch  
  
First he did a loop-the-loop  
  
A corkscrew turn, and then  
  
He stalled for but two seconds  
  
And caught the Snitch in ten.  
  
When he returned, Harry said,  
  
"Well, you're pretty good, old son!  
  
But rest your feet and take a seat  
  
As I show you how it's done!"  
  
All the students run to come and see  
  
Voldy in the school of wizardry  
  
Dark Lord right there on the Quidditch pitch  
  
But Harry in a blink has caught the Snitch!  
  
Then Voldy bowed his head  
  
Because he knew that he'd been beat  
  
And he laid that golden broomstick  
  
On the ground at Harry's feet.  
  
Harry said, "Voldy, just come on back  
  
If you ever want to try it again  
  
I done told you once, you son of a witch,  
  
I'm the best there's ever been!!"  
  
All the students run to come and see  
  
Voldy in the school of wizardry  
  
Dark Lord right there on the Quidditch pitch  
  
But Harry in a blink has caught the Snitch! 


End file.
